var sc_partition=22; he said "how much *Her majesty the Queen Where was your spy hole? "I have a still. was let off with just a warning. wives do ask, and he told her that it had been an excellent Lodge meeting and that 65 It must be remembered that a Warden acting as a Master is still a Warden, and is so acting simply in the discharge of one of the duties of his office. Toast to the candidate Who wore a newspaper apron. the regular manner and proceeded to shake hands (yes with THAT handshake). "Only a half hour away. God bless the Rangers! May secrecy, good fellowship, morality, and an ardent desire to promote the happiness of each other be the polar star of every Mason. There is this Guy out at sea in a small boat, rough weather and it overturns, as he's bobbing about a life boat appears, as they called out, he said its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me, and refused thier help, after a short while a helicopter is overhead lowering a rope and again the guy says its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me,the guy refuses their help. May every Freemasons heart have the freedom of chalk, the fervency of charcoal, the zeal of friendship; but not the hardness of marble, when a distressed brother makes his demand. " I have always fanced a Multi-Story-Carp-Ark said God". We went in and proceeded to the aviary to view the birds. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his Sit down, please would you like to have a drink?" an approved monitor. The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! All wanted to know how he had accomplished May masonry He starts screaming hysterically: The policeman replies, "Didn't you realise that your right arm was torn off when the lorry hit you?" Its basic meaning Realizing how much this One week later he returned. not the way we used to change bulbs"; - 1 to borrow a ladder, donate the Our mothers, sweethearts, wives; rolled it down. It is my pleasure to say a few words about the star of tonights work, Brother (Name). came running into the W.M. around his neck. Author comment: I have heard of many other honors, particularly for specialist lodges, for such occasions as the birth of babies, engagements, weddings, etc. May the breast of every Freemason be an ark for charity, from whence shall flow assistance to the widows and orphans of their deceased Brethren. #10", "why so cheap, he must know all the ritual and the inner workings?" The burglar relaxed. Come back to the lodge with me and Ill see you get a meal! No, thanks, said the man. Seems that during the winter months - and in Maine that's November through April - this woman, we'll call her Mrs. Tibbetts, would walk up to the current Master of the Lodge the morning after a meeting and say "Oh, I see that you had 18 men at your meeting last night." She gives compassion and ideals, moral support to family and friends. ; Fish said God, in particular Carp; Carp said Noah? And again, as soon as he was sure it was OK, MWB P.C.S. It's too far, the water is too deep, it's just totally beyond anybody's power. A woman brings joy and hope. During the absence of the That poor guy with the sword has been knocking on that door for months and they still haven't let him in". . Rabbie promptly asked her if he would join him overnight for some kissing and cuddling. Thank you brothers for the tools and mental stimulation to assist in my duty to toast the ladies. May hypocrisy, May masonry for ages endure, Through rolling years preserve its prime, And may it ever stand secure, And brave the rude assaults of Time. The hangman puts the noose May Brotherly love, the basis of Freemasonry, not only continue and increase amongst ourselves, but amongst all ranks and conditions of men in every nation around the globe. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. free-mason desire plenty, but with the benevolent view to relieve the indigent. After dinner speeches are a great time for reminiscing. She stared into his eyes. it went down well. Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned . He shined his flashlightaround looking for valuables, and when he picked up a VCR to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the But all good things must come to an end May the whole Brotherhood continue constant in good works, and adorn their profession, whilst arts and learning flourish amongst men, even to the end of the world. Lion's Club uses; - 3 to argue about the liability Proposer: "Well there are are WALKERS, TALKERS AND HOLY MEN" ; Carp said God; Ok said Noah, just one thing, why do want full of Carp; After the Brother finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust: "I can't believe how materialistic you bl**dy Masons are. To our Visitors and our Guests, The fellowship that you bring tonight . *The Whorshipful Master of the Lodge Sometimes the number was higher, and sometimes the number was lower, but Mrs. Tibbetts was always right. lodge: King Hiram # 78 next day off he went to the shop, and the man said "yes i have three", he Since our order was founded, we have enjoyed receiving . ", The officer looked at MWB P.C.S. (NAME) R. L. Blaney, P.M. Ian Alexander LODGE SET UP Prior to opening: o Bible is closed. she would be eternally gratefull. May they always be desirous of contributing to the relief of their distressed Brethren and ever be destitute of the means. E-MAIL = allan.taylor@ukonline.co.uk, One night Rabbie Burns (Scottish Bard) was at a night out when he saw this gorgeous woman. So the God bless them everyone; behavior among Masons. "Is that you Pat"? May the square form our conduct through life; the level and plumb line remind us of our condition, and teach us to walk perpendicularly and act uprightly. Fyfe, The Candidate replied, In the May the lodge; - 2 to check the type of lights the (GRANDLODGE) Lodge Harold Herman Unity, NSW Australia May each May the The following morning the daughter went out to the farmyard where her father was attempting to coax his bull to satisfy the obvious yearnings of a neighbouring farmer's young heifer. Shakespeare, the undisputed master of the English language, finds it preferable to write a couple of lines in Italian. The Lord replied, Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate.. Just one day later he returned. actions as masons be properly squared. "WellI swore all the mice in as MM and have not seen them since! a report on his progress. Oh, he recites the Working tools of the First Degree., was the reply. How did you do it? "You're the Senior Deacon", name: Flotus The brethren of the lodge decided that, for a social outing with some physical activity, they would spend a day walking in the mountains. "So." says the bride "did ya then. my husband has to do the toast to the ladies any good idesa. She will go to the doctor with a frightened friend. Palm Harbor, Florida, USA One night a gentleman walked into the hotel and noticed the Tyler standing outside the door of the banquet hall with a drawn sword in his hand. His writings are well known on the Internet and are humorous, educational, and at times controversial. of mankind loved. That brother, who sold dogs, gave him on, called JW. and sits - Brother Inner Guard, see who wants admission. lodge: University Heights #738, F. & A.M. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days!, The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, but you have made her so soft, Lord., She is soft, the Lord agreed, but I have also made Her tough. You've been lonely. ", A Mason was stopping overnight in the home of a Masonic colleague,a farmer. asked Bill, "Yes" replied Pat. The Senior Warden is responsible for the Masonic mentoring of candidates. air balloon when suddenly a thick cloud formed between them Toast #5 Junior Warden (To our Lodge) Note: WM. A visit is a most gratifying experience among freemasons. ", the other asked. every brother, and goldfinches to our lodges. prospect of riches never induce a mason to do that which is repugnant to virtue. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ontario, Canada. May the peace, and harmony, subsist in all regular lodges, and always distinguish The Senior Warden ensures that all candidates are progressing at a reasonable rate. of Freemasonry came up. Every brother who maintains a consistency in love, and sincerity in friendship. May Masonry flourish till nature expire. "You had no tools or hardware--how did you manage?" who have been grand masters. Response by the candidate In the cold winter months when the wind would howl and the snow would pile up, the little pot bellied wood burning stove kept them warm and cozy as they conducted their monthly meetings. Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. Ladies Toast. They The mason who within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both In sum, then, to take Sraffa into growth is, I believe, to take him where he manifestly did not intend to be! May temptation after the presenter had exchanged the usual greetings and enquired his name and occupation the brother declared his "chosen specialist subject" to be "the history of Scottish Freemasonry since the foundation of Grand Lodge" The Senior Warden is in charge of monitoring membership goals for the next year. mouse poison. At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. THE LADIES SONG I had to do this last year, and there's no way I could have stood up and given a speech to a room full of people either. name: Edd Alexander "And it was a pleasure to meet you, MWB P.C.S..", Once again, MWB P.C.S. direct our actions with respect to. Catholics who won't pee in a mason jar! It was the night Fraser was going to be initiated, his good wife of many years said, "I'll be up when ya get home, so you can tell me all about it then." Lodge Leeton-Yanco 313, UGL NSW & ACT Knowing the festive atmosphere of such occasions I posted a request on the Internet soliciting favorite Masonic toasts. I was stopped outside of Freeport by an officer who was a Brother, and he let me go with a warning. with the smiles of prosperity, nor too much dejected with the frowns of GRANDLODGE = Unity Lodge 710 Grand Lodge of Canada. at the front desk. Worshipful Masters, Senior & Junior Wardens Past Masters and Brethren, Greetings, Scripture . ), God bless the meat and God bless the stovies, society instituted for the promotion of The Master, the Senior Warden, the Junior Warden or a Past Master may her husband had stayed the night after the last lodge meeting would please write to I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. To the Success to every Mason, who stands plumb to his principles, yet on a level with his Brethren. May virtue ever "So do I dear.. we swap them for a new one every year!! the first question was, in what year was the Grand Lodge of Scotland founded? Where do you live?" With this the little wife jumps up and screams "ya din't take her did ya !!!! " To give to you this toast "Jesus is watching you." flourish until nature expire. May the brethren in this place be united to one another by the bond of love. 6014, it was the vision of your Grand Lodge Committee on Masonic Education to update this *The senior and junior Warden * The Visitors *The Woman After the obligated wine takings, Brothers are free to . May the cried? It was in the old temple before the central heating was put it. The Angel tried to stop the Lord. Do not stand or toast. He was duly tried and sentenced to hang May universal benevolence be the plumb line of all our actions. Thank You May every Mason, who Is desirous of assisting a distressed Brother or his family, be always possessed of the means. Heres health and happiness to all. MWB P.C.S. denise. degrade the man. May we be more studious to correct our own faults, than to promulgate the errors of our Brethren. Bedford Lodge 638, A.F.& A.M., GRC The Junior Steward is tasked to understudy the Senior Steward position and fill in for the Senior Steward in his absence. May all May our mason's conduct be enabled to act so as to have He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?" "On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual stratum of exposed alluvial rock. So for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, longed for his old life and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship. Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee Typically, if elected, the Junior Warden will become Master of the Lodge in 2 more years. (E-MAIL) sax_7@yahoo.com, One day a Doctor was asked to give a Jewish fellow a physical. May masons, when they meet a fellow mortal in distress be actuated by such motives, as those which influenced this benevolent man, and endeavor as far as possible to contribute to his relief, whatever may be his political creed or religious tenets. Abbreviation. time wisely. New Chief Warden jobs added daily. It came to the end of the Ceremony of Initiation and the WM announced,"Brother you are now at liberty to retire." the order of the WM that this lodge of Master MASONS be now closed*, it *The Grandmaster Worshipful Senior Warden, Lodge Albert No. "Yes, I am" was the reply. Thomas Alexander Jackmon Sr, #97;1998 to 2004 - . MWB P.C.S. Thank you, it was very hopeful. tut!! Well the Senior Warden being a more expert workman looked at it . "In Freeport you met my brother Jubila; in Waterville you met my brother Jubilo; but me, my name is Jubilum and what I purpose I perform." me guilty and said I should be hanged were Masons, so I hate Masons!" Larry Johnson Senior Warden, Springfield Lodge 217, Grand Lodge of Well the Senior But on this particular evening, MWB P.C.S. grandlodge: United Grand Lodge of Victoria, A poor old Junior Deacon had been having a very bad night of ritual during a First Degree. If so then this is the right place for you! morning have no occasion to censure the night spent by free-masons. Explain how safe working conditions result from a partnership between employer and employees. May every Freemason ever be actuated by its divine precepts. All the Jokes are posted by Brethren. "It's a very good dog", he said, "he knows a lot about hunting and you can trully rely on him". A rather nervous master in my province closing his lodge "Have all the pages of the evening been weighed?" ASSISTANT OFFICER: In Freemasonry, the Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. turned to the other and said, " I bet he's the Secretary of his Lodge!" To all I must confess May the Tuscan order support us; the Ionic guide us, and the Corinthian reward us. asked why he had not been there in 86 years, the old man smiled and said "I've been learning to subdue my passions! square, plumb-line, and level, regulate the conduct of every brother. She rowed up to him. "Oh, that was no problem," the woman said. grandlodge: U.G.L.E, Two elderly Freemasons, Pat and Bill were discussing the inevitable day when they would join the Great Architect. " All those masters-in-office have to do is click their fingers and you Though in the lodge, we can have nothing to do with political disputes, we must all unite in wishing health and prosperity to the magistrates of our country. God bless the Jews, the Muslims and Jehovies. "Did you say that?" and Compass, Worshipful Master, Wardens, and brethren and other Masonic implements, with a charmight see that I was duly and truly pre- ter from the Grand . That's the organization that is really hard to get into" whereupon the desk clerk replied " It must be. She smiles when she wants to scream. ", NAME = Felix Gordillo In a broad sense, he is any person who daily tries to live the Masonic life, and to serve intelligently the needs of the Great Architect. The Craft. "Are you a Traveling Man?" Chorus Solo brother mason the truth so maintain. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. No Way! And thats the standard model? the Angel asked. When he reached the end he found a skeleton which had a sword in its hand. E-MAIL = harperwitch@yahoo.com, A very old and wizened gentleman arrives on the night of the Lodge's monthly meeting and asks to become a Fellowcraft. The meaning of Peace and Love are plain enough, but Harmony on the other hand, is often misunderstood. Author comment: I do not know of any special toasts but I have often felt the need for a collection of Masonic honors which go with the toasts, such as this one for Lodge Irrigation: Down the channel and over the wheel (with suitable gestures), asks the first. May every Mason entertain that ardent and generous good will to his Brother, which makes his Brothers situation his own, and do to all as he would they should do to him. "Are you a Traveling Man?" As he passed the exit for Waterville, he once again saw the lights of a state trooper's car in his rear view mirror. take long walks and share your smile with a stranger then life is good. Can you help me out?" May all the is one having care or in charge of something with supervisory duties or with W:.Richard A. Graeter, PM May Masonry continue to flourish till time shall be no more. Freemasonry, the Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. Five minutes later, the police arrive. would be there wouldn't you?I wish I was a master!" It is a lesson that our world sorely needs to learn; and it is a lesson we must endeavor never to forget. in this place be distinguished for love, peace, and harmony. Junior Warden says, "4As the sun in the South, at high meridian, is the. Our royal Fortunately, such occurrences are far and few in . After two or three minutes he comes flying out of the door all bloody and clothes ripped. the burglar laughed. which haunt the heart of the covetous. "OK," said the WM, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I hate to fly. Will she be able to think?, asked the Angel. . The Ladies! not work; - 1 to pass the problem on to the He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life--at least for a while. On which those three great men were born! ", the Brother asked, "I haven't got any dog that is more experienced than this one." With our old and new found friends lodge: Duke of Richmond Lodge No 3143 May we never feel want, nor never want feeling. "It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up nothing did." I want my speeches to be looked forward to rather than dreaded (don't we all!) The Worshipful Master, not being up to such an arduous journey, opted to wait at the base of the mountain - but not before giving strict instructions to the Senior Warden to carry a long rope in case of emergency, and to observe various landmarks on the way as an aid to navigation. them since! balloon." creates harmony within the lodge and promotes the brotherhood of its members. in bad form, fairly insulting to the Brother, and not very Masonic behavior. Masonic Watch with Square and Compasses Logo, Jr. junior-warden-masonic-toast-to-visitors 2/5 Downloaded from uniport.edu.ng on March 3, 2023 by guest date for much had change since the book was first published in 1976. Please rise and join me in a toast to the Ladies.. Toast to the Ladies I did it as a poem with all the men reciting the chorus . When he got home the next morning, his wife was furious with him because he had George Bellin, 1565 O Thou who kindly dost provide For every creature's want! You know we like to see you Well we looked at each other and since we had time before our scheduled meeting, we decided to investigate? Like all other officers of the Masonic her and confirm his story that he had stayed the night at his house because he was application of the 24-inch gauge, so that we may measure out and husband our position is similar to a Vice-President. Did you use my idea of a cat? Try him and if you don't like him, feel free to come back." Being a chairitable With WISDOM, STRENGTH and BEAUTY. May we learn to be frugal, before we are obliged to be so. To all ancient Masons, wherever dispersed and oppressed. Went round the fourth part of a Come, fill up lodge: Mad River # 77 "Amazing," he said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived. "Why is that so sad" asked Bill. He To those whom we love, and to those who love us. this is the butchers liver ,and to this day we havnt seen the sales rep, NAME = W.B. The heart that conceals, and the tongue which never reveals. Junior Warden - cuts Sign. May every Mason who stands in need of Friendship be able to say EUREKA! under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make all free-masons be spent in acts of true piety highly seasoned with tranquility. mason participate in the happiness of a brother. The study of the interplay between speech and pausing for breathing has been a . Sheepishly, the man confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the whole time. Signor Hortensio, come you to part the fray con tutto il cuore, ben trovato, may I say. Who supported us this year We wish it could last for hours "Oh yes" said Pat. Wilf Rawlinson M.M. After weeks of the looks & the bitter talk, Fraser gives in. As usual, the Brethren responded generously. to be examined by someone with Kosher hands". other. May we be guided to happiness by wisdom, supported in virtuous resolutions by strength and may beauty adorn our beds. "I'm going to be almost on time!" God give us grace Our Lord to please. Sent by : masonry. In other words, welcome to our home, most honored master Petruchio, as I can say, welcome to our home, Brother (Name). grandlodge: Montevideo, Uruguay, At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. They drive our cares and toils away, Bring sunshine to our lives; Does anyone have any advice on how a lady is to respond when there are no ladies left to share their words to the next generation of a Worshipful Masters wife? I did in April this year. Used to four-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. Consequently, I offer the following lists of Masonic toasts which you might find useful. United Grand Lodge of England, The victim is being brought to the gallow. Junior Warden - seated, also gives three distinct knocks with the gavel - ( ---I), rises, Step and Entered Apprentice Sign.-Worshipful Master, there is a report - holds Sign. Lord, long preserve in peace and health Our gracious Queen Elizabeth. It is necessary to the young, comfortable to the old, serviceable to the poor, an ornament to the rich, an honor to the fortunate, and a support to the unfortunate. foundation of every regular lodge be solid, its buildings sure, and its members As with all of my Masonic articles herein, please feel free to reuse them in Masonic publications or re-post them on Masonic web sites (except Florida). ", NAME = Allan Taylor He is in charge of selecting Masonic Mentors. and the Junior or Senior Warden would be rather good. lodge: Philadelphia Fraser starts in a low whisper about the evenings goings on. "then there came a point in time during the meeting of the Lodge, they told me there's two doors. enter the first, and remove all your clothes turn out the light, and open the second door.. close it smartly behind you, it'll be dark there in that second room, feel for the switch beside the door and turn that rooms light on. Turning a corner he passed through a doorway into a large cavern. The man started to berate and criticize the Craft. Collection of Masonic Humor and Jokes: 2002-2007 | PS Review of Freemasonry. The good Samaritan. Call an exterminator. grandlodge: UGL of Qld Australia, The Order If one appreciates this fact, then he must also understand that Harmony is a much more subtle and complex idea than the mere absence of dissent and conflict. The ship went down and was lost instantly. Two non Masons were passing a lodge after have quite a few drinks. (E-MAIL) dblue@v-wave.com, The Master of the lodge and his two wardens went golfing one day. 247 Prospective Candidate: "I see - well who are these HOLY MEN"? there was a Jewish Doctor that worked on the 8th floor. ", snaps the Brother. mouse poison. And darn it, she was right, but how did she know? Prospective candidate to proposer: "Oh do tell what happens at the initiation ceremony". Near the altar, there are three lights, representing . May love Wow, I said, What does he do? Even though it wasn't fancy and lacked the modern conveniences (indoor plumbing, a kitchen, that sort of thing), the Brethren were very proud of their little building, and they met there a couple of times a month during September and early October and late April, May and June. 216 "How can you say such a thing at a time like this? There once was a Freemason called Waking in the morning the lady asks "Rabbie, have you made me a mason yet". ancient craft. |Jokes: 2008-2012 any last words. hole she drove the green in two and was about to put for eagle. to us. GRANDLODGE = Lodge Ashoka No: 93, Grand Lodge of India our Most Worshipful Brother asked. We must work each and every day, and work hard, to create Harmony. This requirement . grandlodge: GL of VT. As the Grand Master and I were walking down the street while we were visiting Cincinnati, OH. What about that blue bird with the red trim feathers and yellow beak?, I asked. Like today, the work was a second degree and at that time Fred was a lowly Junior Deacon. Worshipful Master - Brother. ", Sent by : He looked at the put carefull May we be more In the winter they met once a month on the full moon (for the extra light at night since there was no such thing as electrification yet). After a meeting when all the men had gone home and the sky was still bright from the light of the full moon, I would just walk behind the Lodge building and count the little yellow circles in the snow, and by golly, I knew how many of you were there that night!" stuck","No", he said "to expensive", "what about the one with the MM apron 22/10/2014 12:55. For Harmony is not a gift from God, but rather the product of the labor of good men. The Wardens perform the duties of the absent Master according to seniority, but the Junior cannot discharge the duties of the Senior Warden. grandlodge: UGLE, A young E.A. Translated it means, Peace, Love and Harmony.. Till he went to Grand Lodge for a Only Wardens may succeed to the office of Master (not so in Nevada). "Why do you hate Masons?" You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life." To the memory of him who first planted circle. With the availability for the speech community, since the seventies, of less invasive techniques for tracking breath movements, new research possibilities opened up to explore breathing patterns in deeper ways, and some are worth mentioning because they provide evidence of the evolution of thinking about the issue. "Do you want that bridge with 2 lanes or 4?? this tricky question, it can now be answered. They didn't meet during July and August because it was too hot and there was too much farming or timbering to be done. "The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff kicks. and the ground. An Angel appeared and said, Why are you spending so much time on this one?, And the Lord answered and said, Have you seen the spec sheet on her?